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In search of love

Over a cup of coffee, over internet chats, me and my girly friends have been sharing with each other, our harrowing experiences in finding our Mr. Right Prince Charming. Katya Naidu, Correspondent with Business Standard, and a very close friend of mine, collaborated with me on compiling a major chunk of real-life experiences mentioned in this post. Happy reading......

Girls are born romantics. And what better way to fall out of the ‘I will fall in love with a handsome man dream’, than actually meeting a prospective husband.

Ever since houses changed into flats and windows of adjoining houses became archaic phenomenon, romance has become much tougher. Especially, in big cities. Many-an-office-romance, too has disappeared thanks to the long work hours and alcohol parties, which lead to 'something else' sooner than love. While many men and women seem to find their love's way before the normal age, things have changed for those women who seek love. Love or not love, age is catching up with most of them as they get busy achieving career dreams, and wedding websites and arranged coups--I mean match fixing, seems the only way for those who actually don’t get sloshed in drunken parties and sweet nothings.

And my! my! my! what happens in  the process is anybody's guess. Here are some truths we (me and my friends) have discovered in our search (via website, matrimonial aunties and enthusiastic match-fixing relatives) for Mr. Right:

Hail Photoshop!
Beware of photoshop. They post ten year older photographs on their profiles. It happened to my friend. She fell for the handsome looks of this lean dimpled cheeked guy…When she met him, he was 60 pounds heavier and the dimples were hidden away in wrinkles. Made us think!!! Guys too need botox. :)

Sex, drinks and the software industry:
Well they have been to US, and have interacted with US-based clients on a daily basis, they have picked up a little bit of colloquial lingo...but dating like Americans is still a dream. The only way they can save their face in marriage meetings is by acting cooler than they are. For instance, there was this Marathi girl who met this Marathi guy in London, who is actually from Pune. He asked this lady a simple question: Hey do you like shopping?
Girl: Yes I like shopping
Guy: How do you shop for clothes. I mean, how do you choose them?
Girl: I try them on first
Guys: Well don't you think you should choose your husband the same way?

Hmmmm. What followed later was a Shauryagatha (story of courage/bravery) of how he hangs out with his friends over drinks, how he actually had sex with many strangers after meeting them over 'drinks'. In spite of these sexcapades he had never found a nice Indian girl who is the one he is looking for.
These men are generally dismissed with either a slap (if the girl is Marathi) or a boot (in case of Punjabi)

The disguised daters (only):
Well guys, and girls, repeat after me “A matrimonial site is not a dating portal!” please repeat till you have not just memorized, but also imbibed this. Many a gal-guy think of matrimonial websites as timepass business, a way to catch dates. My friend from college had this experience. After having more than one telephonic conversations with this guy, he says…well he has not thought of wedding now. It’s a sad way of saying Tata ByeBye to someone! seriously. And secondly, people who visit this site mean business…don’t waste their time.

Curious Toms:
These people are eager to know everything. They are enthusiastic even about atoms and molecules of life. They are not necessarily scientists. So conversations go like, "Isn't it wonderful to have Sun's rays over your face when you wake up? I stayed in that kind of a place once," said a curious Tom. "It was a wonderful feeling when I realised that I had to wake up when Sun is up. Ahaaaaaaaaa," he added.
In my instance, I had to answer these many questions from a guy, who was wayyyyyyyyyyy too curious about my work…How do you write? The inspiration, the text…the designing….printing…OOOOOfffffffff…by the end of it…I was tired.

Its not that its bad…but asking those questions as a questionnaire is bad. Kick on the ass for these guys. By the time you imagine something divine intervenes to save you and pray hard, the bill for dinner comes, you pay and run out.

Logic locusts:
“Actually the reason I chose an arranged marriage is because I always thought love affairs are very commercial. Girl friends expect us to buy them gifts, take them out. So I weighed my options and decided that bharatmatrimony paid service works out much cheaper….”
Very very true and very well analysed. No woman who does not get paid would go out with you. I hope there is a big figure there on the salary section, otherwise no one will marry you either.
Nothing is for free brother..oopss ..sisters too come with rakhi expenses
Well, we are women, we are not easy you see!
The most annoying of the lot are the late latifs and Miss-Manners-family
In this case, I have had two harrowing experiences, supposed to meet them at an hour, and these guys turned up hours late…Hello? N no Sir. No sorry…No phone call that they will be late…no no no.
Worse, one of them was a chewing gum chewing bull. Oh!!! How I wanted to strangle them at first sight.

Well, we had been to this place to meet a guy and his family…Place, 4 hrs drive from my home. Time to reach 10 am. We were there…but the parents hadn’t bathed….The waorst kinds are Moms in nighties and Dads in Shorts….and this guy had been to some family friend for breakfast…heloooooooooooooooooooooo Knock knock!!!
Worse, we were offered a glass of warm water and random tea after a question,”Do you really want some tea?”
Well kick on their butts tooo!!!

But that’s life….Searching for love, rather Mr right guy is a hilarious and an eye-opening process. And it is rather safe to assume that most men fall under this categories.

Anyone else is either a psychopath whose behaviour cannot be classified, or even Mr Right.

So Keep Looking!
Note: This post is not intended to offend anyone, especially guys, who might have had similar experiences with women.

Images taken via a google search.


TRUPTI at: Aug 29, 2010, 12:18:00 PM said...

Fantastic !!! well potrayed !!! liked it

s at: Aug 30, 2010, 2:48:00 PM said...

Great Blog...loved every bit and was in splits add to that Katya helped. But on a serious note I am quote sure this has been a horrible experience for those who went thru it. I for one identify with the curious case.....God the amount of question I get once they know I ma journalist is amazing. Frankly i came to know about my profession more when I was answering one of these curious toms. While i never believed in 'Mr Right' I m no where near finding a normal one :). Keep up the writing.

Nandini Chhatre at: Aug 30, 2010, 3:01:00 PM said...

Thanks for leaving your comments gals.
Shivu, on my part, I have bad experience with late latifs, Missed-manners-Family and curious toms....That guy was more interested in how I write than me as a person :)

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