In search of love

Over a cup of coffee, over internet chats, me and my girly friends have been sharing with each other, our harrowing experiences in finding our Mr. Right Prince Charming. Katya Naidu, Correspondent with Business Standard, and a very close friend of mine, collaborated with me on compiling a major chunk of real-life experiences mentioned in this post. Happy reading......

Girls are born romantics. And what better way to fall out of the ‘I will fall in love with a handsome man dream’, than actually meeting a prospective husband.

Ever since houses changed into flats and windows of adjoining houses became archaic phenomenon, romance has become much tougher. Especially, in big cities. Many-an-office-romance, too has disappeared thanks to the long work hours and alcohol parties, which lead to 'something else' sooner than love. While many men and women seem to find their love's way before the normal age, things have changed for those women who seek love. Love or not love, age is catching up with most of them as they get busy achieving career dreams, and wedding websites and arranged coups--I mean match fixing, seems the only way for those who actually don’t get sloshed in drunken parties and sweet nothings.

And my! my! my! what happens in  the process is anybody's guess. Here are some truths we (me and my friends) have discovered in our search (via website, matrimonial aunties and enthusiastic match-fixing relatives) for Mr. Right:

Hail Photoshop!
Beware of photoshop. They post ten year older photographs on their profiles. It happened to my friend. She fell for the handsome looks of this lean dimpled cheeked guy…When she met him, he was 60 pounds heavier and the dimples were hidden away in wrinkles. Made us think!!! Guys too need botox. :)

Sex, drinks and the software industry:
Well they have been to US, and have interacted with US-based clients on a daily basis, they have picked up a little bit of colloquial lingo...but dating like Americans is still a dream. The only way they can save their face in marriage meetings is by acting cooler than they are. For instance, there was this Marathi girl who met this Marathi guy in London, who is actually from Pune. He asked this lady a simple question: Hey do you like shopping?
Girl: Yes I like shopping
Guy: How do you shop for clothes. I mean, how do you choose them?
Girl: I try them on first
Guys: Well don't you think you should choose your husband the same way?

Hmmmm. What followed later was a Shauryagatha (story of courage/bravery) of how he hangs out with his friends over drinks, how he actually had sex with many strangers after meeting them over 'drinks'. In spite of these sexcapades he had never found a nice Indian girl who is the one he is looking for.
These men are generally dismissed with either a slap (if the girl is Marathi) or a boot (in case of Punjabi)

The disguised daters (only):
Well guys, and girls, repeat after me “A matrimonial site is not a dating portal!” please repeat till you have not just memorized, but also imbibed this. Many a gal-guy think of matrimonial websites as timepass business, a way to catch dates. My friend from college had this experience. After having more than one telephonic conversations with this guy, he says…well he has not thought of wedding now. It’s a sad way of saying Tata ByeBye to someone! seriously. And secondly, people who visit this site mean business…don’t waste their time.

Curious Toms:
These people are eager to know everything. They are enthusiastic even about atoms and molecules of life. They are not necessarily scientists. So conversations go like, "Isn't it wonderful to have Sun's rays over your face when you wake up? I stayed in that kind of a place once," said a curious Tom. "It was a wonderful feeling when I realised that I had to wake up when Sun is up. Ahaaaaaaaaa," he added.
In my instance, I had to answer these many questions from a guy, who was wayyyyyyyyyyy too curious about my work…How do you write? The inspiration, the text…the designing….printing…OOOOOfffffffff…by the end of it…I was tired.

Its not that its bad…but asking those questions as a questionnaire is bad. Kick on the ass for these guys. By the time you imagine something divine intervenes to save you and pray hard, the bill for dinner comes, you pay and run out.

Logic locusts:
“Actually the reason I chose an arranged marriage is because I always thought love affairs are very commercial. Girl friends expect us to buy them gifts, take them out. So I weighed my options and decided that bharatmatrimony paid service works out much cheaper….”
Very very true and very well analysed. No woman who does not get paid would go out with you. I hope there is a big figure there on the salary section, otherwise no one will marry you either.
Nothing is for free brother..oopss ..sisters too come with rakhi expenses
Well, we are women, we are not easy you see!
The most annoying of the lot are the late latifs and Miss-Manners-family
In this case, I have had two harrowing experiences, supposed to meet them at an hour, and these guys turned up hours late…Hello? N no Sir. No sorry…No phone call that they will be late…no no no.
Worse, one of them was a chewing gum chewing bull. Oh!!! How I wanted to strangle them at first sight.

Missed-Manners-family
Well, we had been to this place to meet a guy and his family…Place, 4 hrs drive from my home. Time to reach 10 am. We were there…but the parents hadn’t bathed….The waorst kinds are Moms in nighties and Dads in Shorts….and this guy had been to some family friend for breakfast…heloooooooooooooooooooooo Knock knock!!!
Worse, we were offered a glass of warm water and random tea after a question,”Do you really want some tea?”
Well kick on their butts tooo!!!

But that’s life….Searching for love, rather Mr right guy is a hilarious and an eye-opening process. And it is rather safe to assume that most men fall under this categories.

Anyone else is either a psychopath whose behaviour cannot be classified, or even Mr Right.

So Keep Looking!
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Note: This post is not intended to offend anyone, especially guys, who might have had similar experiences with women.

Images taken via a google search.

Funny videos

These videos have been doing quite a few rounds on the social networks.

Some of my favorites:


Roger Federer knocks the can off a crew member's head during the Gillette ad shoot




Einstein, the South African, Talking Grey parrot

Chingey re Chingey

Why does it so happen, that we understand the true value of anything only after it is no more with us? This can about anyone or any thing. Rarely, have I met a person who truly understands that he/she is blessed with all that is around him/her.

Well, I am no different either. I have always been a reactive person as far as understanding the value of any thing is concerned. And most of the time, I end up crying over the spilt milk, after it is spilt; rarely taking care to ensure that it is not going to spill, and is safe and sound in its tamper proof pot.

I had a lovely doll, one that could walk and talk and sing (a big thing in Indian homes in late eighties). It could sing nursery rhymes…Had lovely blonde piggy tails and deep blue eyes. My Atya (aunt) and my Grandmother had gifted this lovely cherub to me. I used to call her Chingey. I have a distant memory of making a small cradle for her from my Mum’s used sarees and singing her to sleep.

Over the years I grew up, and moved on to different things—Barbies, Enid Blyton books, Nancy Drew, music, make up, and much more. Chingey was never jealous of the Barbie I got for my Birthday, or the teddy that joined the Toy gang later. She was too content to stay in some dusty corner of my room; only to reappear, when one of my cousins had come home.

She was old…but there was no change in her adorable character. Well, boys will be boys, and Chingey suffered her leg fracture at his hands…only never to recover. Yet my one legged dolly was a model, or clothes horse as you might call her, for my mum’s tailoring assignments. She was a very patient and smiling patient for all my toddler neighbours with their doctor sets…always batting her baby blues at them, sleeping as they instructed her and waking up whenever they wanted.

Over the years, Chingey lost her ability to speak…but that never stopped her from showering her love on me. Her soothing smile made me forget my unfinished homework, crap assignments, my mum’s reprimands and Dad’s punishments. I used to talk to her about all my problems…friends bitching, bad grades, guilt feelings, anxiety and fear. Whenever I would cry (No, I am not female version of Norman Bates) to Chingey…her smile would somehow, make me believe that the world is indeed beautiful.

Then one day, she was no more…broken beyond repair that we had to give her away. It did not hit then….but slowly and steadily….it keeps (even after 12 years) coming on to me, that indeed I am all alone in this world and nobody understands me.

And that’s when you realize, that there are somethings which go away as we grow up. Most of them are lost in memories. But there are a few of those lost things, which always come back, to prove that we lived a life, which is such far off at times, that it seems unreal, even to us.

I actually miss her…my childhood, the games we played….My Chingey…Always in my heart!!!
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Note: Images taken from google image search

Friends in the Enchanted Woods

The enchanted woods is one funny place to be in. It does strange things to your head.

So make sure that your pockets are full with chocolates and candy, and that you have your friends with you, before you venture in. I learnt it the hard way.

My first trip to the woods was so scary!!! It used to be dark all the time, and the winds used to howl. Whooooooooooooo!!!!I was so scared and cold.No one to talk to, no one to ask help from. I did not know if I was going on the right path! But I had to cross the woods and reach to the other end, to the Village of Eternal Happiness. I was tired, cold and hungry. But I persisted, continued to walk on, and explored my way through the forest.

And there it was!!! I stumbled upon it. Really!!! A bottle. with a small message, which  I could  not read in the dark. I had to build a fire. It was like playing a 'hidden objects' game. I had to find all that I needed - matches, wood, some grass (They say that, in the woods, you find all that you need, but not that you desire, maybe thats why its enchanted). The fire softly lighted the surroundings in its warm glow. Finally, I broke the bottle and read the message, out loud. Little did I know it was a spell.

O'howling winds, O'mighty Sun,

I call upon thee, do not stay mum.

I am all alone, cold and scared,

No one to share my joys with, or to calm me in despair.

Grant me a wish, give me this boon,

Angels by my side, morning, night and noon!

Well?
Nothing happened!
I continued my tired walk, and then I saw them.....
Unicorns!!!! one on each side of me, protecting me from the dangers and pointing me towards the right path to my destination. Unicorns! Their presence is overwhelming. They give you so much love.Wise men say that you commit the ultimate sin, one that cannot be redeemed, if you kill a unicorn.

Somewhere down the road, I also met a pair of sheep-dogs. Playful and naughty, making sure, I do not divert from my destination, they made my journey more exciting than ever. I also came across the wide-eyeded owl. Hooting for me...telling me, I am not alone and lonely.

I continued trotting on my route. But it was not so dark and gloomy anymore.The woods were bathed in soft glow. I could see the Robin's nest and the sleeping babies. There, near the roots of an old oak, was the home of the working ants. Some were having their meals, others carrying heavy loads of food. By the silver lake, were trees and flowers of almost all kinds, and ones never seen before. Some trees had leaves so long, you could hook them in other branches and have a nice hammock-cradle ready in minutes. Just jump in and sleep away. And there, in one of those hamradles (hammock+cradle) slept the prankster polly. She used to be with a pirate, not so long ago. But after the ship sank, she moved to different places, in search of her own little paradise. And now here she was, this one sharp tongued polly. We started off on a very good note, and decided to journey together. And as I continued on the road, I saw, that it was not dark anymore. My path was full of sunshine and the lazy breeze kissed my hair and cheeks. I could smell the fragrance of wild apples and also of the lavender from the jungle. The soft grass cushioned my steps and formed a soft mattresses whenever I was tired and in need of a nap.

And then I met the colourful-giraffe. He was a darling! n funniest co-incidences of all? He was travelling to the Village of Eternal Happiness too!!! We became the best of friends, the thickest of pals, and partners in many crimes, through my, rather our journey.

All my friends made my journey so beautiful. We talked and laughed...Now that I think about it, its so strange, that we could speak the same language, being so different. But we did have a good time.

I reached my destination in no time. Time really flies, when you are with your loved ones-friends, or whom I call, Angels.

And today, I take the journey to (not through) the woods, yet again. My pockets filled with candies and chocolates, cupcakes and sanwiches. Oh! Did I forget to tell you that we friends were having a tea party today to celebrate our friendship?

Well, you are invited!!!

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Note:  Both the images are taken from google imagesearch. The first one belongs to the Holland-based artist, Nadia Karroue (http://www.vg-heart.com/index.html). Do visit her website if you are interested in art.The second one was taken through plain google image search.

The Very First

Its always an anxious first time, isn't it?
Pounding heart, voozies in the stomach, sweaty palms, biting nails and most often, a nervous tick.

Why does it happen to us?

• First day of the school, its starts when Mommie leaves us, the crying marthon begins thereafter
• First day of college, It happens even when you are surrounded by friends,happens more, if you are all by yourself, scared of making any mistakes.
• First date, first day of your work, and so many firsts that come later on.

The feeling never leaves.

And trust me, I have been in so many embarassing, foot-in-mouth, wish-I-was-invisible kind of situations, that I might just get a doctorate on the topic. It again happened to me recently at my work plce.
I normally travel by bus to work. On the first day, I was so freaked out, and a bundle of nerves, and wanting to make a good first impression, that when someone asked me as to how I travelled, I told them , I do so by train. :( Ooooooof. Thats not all, I even corrected myself, "Oh No! Did I mention train...no-no, I travel by Bus."

Now, when I think about it, I think that was funny at times weird too, and I have a good laugh at myself. But trust me, that moment, when it happened, it was not.

Like I said, I have a knack for embarassing myself. In another situation, my first tram travel, n the floors were slippery, n it was cold. So like every true Indian, travelling to phoren land for the very first time, I was wearing a sweater, a jacket, n sports shoes (road side ones...with no grip). And I fell in side the tram while walking down the only two stairs. Lol. That was funny.

Now that I think about it. First times are tough.

But then, we meet people, as nervous or goofy and weird, or even more. And like they say, "Birds of a feather...."

We make friends and the world turns into this amazingly wild and funny place to jump and skip around.

Don't be embarassed of your first time situations,even  if you have ended up making a fool of yourself....if there are too many of those situations, maybe you can publish a book about them...If there are only a few, share them here.

Cheers